Of all the reasons people come to meditation, sleep is one of the most common, and the most tender. By the time someone tells me they cannot sleep, they have usually tried everything, and every attempt has made it a little more of a job.
That is the knot. Sleep does not respond to effort. It is one of the few things in an adult life that comes only when we stop reaching for it. So the first thing I offer is a change of goal: tonight, you are not trying to fall asleep. You are practising lying still and resting, which you already know how to do.
Rest counts
Lying quietly in the dark with a soft body and a slow breath is genuinely restful, even if you stay awake. Knowing this takes some of the fear out of the night. The clock stops being a scoreboard.
If you are awake at three, you are not failing at sleep. You are succeeding at resting, in the dark, with nobody needing anything from you.
A body scan for bed
The practice I teach for the evening is a slow scan, beginning at the soles of the feet. It is not relaxation by instruction. You are not telling the feet to relax. You are just visiting them, noticing warmth or pressure or nothing at all, and moving on when you are ready.
Try it tonight, and be gentle with yourself if you are still awake at the end. Rest counts.